Who?
You wonder who to be and how to get there and you struggle everyday to find out who you are. You constantly try to hold on to any kind of prospect of realness and everything that seems real constantly crumbles around you, leaving you with no certainty whatsoever.
When you try to show yourself to people, you don’t really know who to show for you haven’t found yourself, not just yet. At these times, you wonder if showing yourself would change anything; no one seems to be really willing to listen or see.
You know what you like, the few things you really want and what you can’t do without but to piece it all together to find your definition of self seems like an unavailable option at the moment. Your minds drives itself crazy in the attempt of making sense of it all and it reaches the point in which it all just seems too much.
You go out, wander about, distract yourself but when, yet again, you find yourself alone, with no distractions, it all comes back to torment you once more.
WHO AM I?
The total, essential, or particular being of a person; the individual;
The essential qualities distinguishing one person from another; individuality.
Find what these are and you’ll find yourself. It is not that easy to do so, however. Tracing a plane to get there won’t probably get you anywhere.
Live your life the way you think you’re supposed to live it, no one but you will suffer or cherish the results of your actions as much as you will. Living your life through others will only leave you wondering, living your life for others will only get you places where you don’t really want to be.
Listen to others, nonetheless. Not to make sense of things as if they always know better, not as if you couldn’t do it on your own but because life is also made of the people around you. And because they’ll always contribute to making you who you are but they are not you; they don’t feel how you feel, they don’t know what you know and they’re not the ones feeling like there’s something (you’re not quite sure what) missing, therefore, they’ll never truly understand it.
There’ll always be something missing but as long as you know yourself, who you are, what you want, everything will be alright in the end as you’ll always be able to count on someone you know: you.
In this journey, that you have to make on your own you can always count on some people to listen and try to help and I’m one of them. Not because I know better but because I’ve been there and will keep on wondering about myself for many years probably. Not because I’ll be able to in fact do something palpable but because I’m able to listen. And sometimes, by talking as by writing, we find out things that, due to the fact we never thought of them before, we didn’t think we’d be able to find. As ourselves.
