Elgar - Something Inside

Do filme August Rush...


A música é linda...

(Just to keep it fresh) E se...

E se eu sonhar e não acreditar?
Porque todas as minhas crenças,
Essas ilusões frágeis como as nuvens,
Se desfazem no momento em que acredito.

E se gritar sem emitir um único som?
Porque todas as tentativas de pedir ajuda
São inúteis, são inaudíveis,
E a ajuda de que tanto necessito nunca chega

E se eu desistir?
De tudo, de mim, da vida,
Porque nada parece valer a pena o sacrifício
De lutar para melhorar
De lutar para sobreviver

E se nada for real?
Porque sonhos se desfazem como castelos de areia
Porque esperanças se mostram inúteis
Porque desejos se revelam insuficientes
O real impõe-se à fantasia que habita dentro de mim

Porque promessas nada garantem
Embora eu prometa e não quebre essas então verdades
São verdades escondidas que ninguém vislumbra

Porque eu quero mas não luto por desejos
Que nada mais são que desejos
Mas que valem tão mais que as certezas
Que procuro para determinar a minha vida

Eu quero sonhar e não pensar
Sentir e não tentar perceber
Ser em harmonia e aceitar o mundo






(In a depressive moment of my life, and there were a lot in the past, written in a Psychology class back in...)


2006/10/24

Não se pode

Não se pode gostar de Tokio Hotel que é-se emo

Não se pode ver diariamente Perez Hilton que é-se coscuvilheira

Não se pode querer um telemóvel caro que é-se fútil

Não se pode usar calças largas sem estar a adoptar um estilo ou usar maquilhagem sem ser numa tentativa de parecer mais feminina

Não se pode usar um vestido apenas para satisfação própria

Não se pode ser honesta sem ser rude ou fria

Não se pode arrotar sem ser badalhoca

Não se pode beber sem ser bêbeda

Não se pode sair à noite sem ser vadia

Não se pode ser alegre apesar de ser depressiva, é-se logo considerada doida




Não posso dizer palavras se não tenho a certeza que as sinto e não quero ser definida por meras palavras ou pelas classificações de quem nada sabe sobre mim.


E sim, não podia ter começado melhor..

Farewells Unspoken

Said forever by your side

Said would never say goodbye

See the lies and false promises

It’s lonely, I need you

And you’re not here tonight

Got tired of waiting

For the time you never have

Remember the days I believed

And when I saw things were failing

Farewells unspoken

Made my heart get broken

But now I’m open to something new

That doesn’t include you

Childhood dreams have fled

Now all I got is the present

No hope was left

Couldn’t put my mind to rest

With all the questions I never got to ask

But no answers would change a thing

It’s too late to apologize

And you don’t know that’s what you need to do

Trying to adjust to living without you

Not because I want but ‘cause I have to

All images will remain

All memories of joy will stay

For I won’t try to run away

Don’t think it’s easy, don’t misjudge

When you realize I’ve walked away

I don’t know if you’ll see

It never mattered anyway

27-08-07

What you didn't see coming

You came along unnoticed or maybe I wasn’t paying attention. Can’t remember the first words, maybe they are not the best thing to remember or I don’t give enough value to the first things. I do remember the first time my hearing betrayed me and got me thinking about things I didn’t realize would happen.

I dream of running away and you came along with the camera. If the camera could see through my skin, if it was that easy to see what I'm feeling, what I think, maybe you could explain it to me. I’m not quite sure of what to say, didn’t go through the trouble of thinking things through.

Am I up for what’s at stake? And do you realize the risks I’m taking? I got tired of dealing with feelings and now I have to deal with yours and mine and I don’t gamble with emotions. I wonder if you see, if you can just tell that am as surprised as I’m scared. Will you be up for the challenge?
Maybe, just maybe, it could be right… And I’ll hold on to that thought.



“Do you understand?
‘Cause I understand”

New Year

Fireworks in the sky and the night’s just getting started. Viva la vida and a smile on my face; if I’m not happy now I don’t know what it is to be happy. After a bath of champagne I try to find my way around the people, I’ll wave goodbye to some of you but you’ll be on my mind and it was a pleasure being with you. But something tells me I have to go… Something else awaits me.

I arrive late as I always do, right on time but some things have already happened. I wonder why I came (I know I’ll always ask myself that question) and I guess I just knew I had to be sure of the things I want to and, just today, someone told me to try everything at least once. So I guess this is my leap of faith into the unknown.

Some empty streets and a crowded car, turning left and right would be so hard if we knew where to go or how to get there. I just keep thinking, I wish I could drive somewhere far away, where the rain isn’t likely to pour down on me or where these festivities are not so messy. I should have started the year somewhere where a dozen people wouldn’t step on my feet or fight me as if I were the enemy.

I know I’m not alone, I can feel you next to me. I tell myself I’m not wrong, there’s no such thing as being wrong right now, and I try to leave all those tiny little rules and norms behind. My mind keeps running and I think of all I’ve been told: by you, by me and by all the others and I can’t believe how some were so right. I’d be better off fearing the dark than fearing myself but everyone has to deal with the way they are. And the morning light is coming fast….

I got to see some old clichés come true and now I think of it I really feel like smiling… Life really isn’t how you see in the movies and I don’t mind because I really can’t see what’s coming next in my way and I’m happy with it.

I made no New Year resolutions because I don’t want to know what’s coming next. I saw some hopes crashing down but I’ll give my best smile and carry on; crushed hopes won’t change how I feel. I saw some unexpected things happen but I don’t think I’m careless, I just want to live my life the best I can.

Today I know I can walk the world on my own but I don’t feel like I have to. I’m happy where I am.