The weather itself hasn’t been helping; this rain seems to carry sadness and I can’t help but to give in to some brief moments of slight and stupid depression, joining the rain with some tears.
There is only one thing that’s able to make me smile regardless of everything that may be around; you, the only exception. The reason why I’ve grown much softer and nicer lately, the reason why even when I get angry, into an argument or cry I still do it with some sort of a smile on my face. I couldn’t explain all that I feel even if I wanted to, I just know that I’m better now that I feel this way and I’m almost certain that this is the first time that falling in love has made me a better person and not just tad more stupid and mellow.
I love you, in this sort of really calm and mature way, probably because I’ve always adored you this is just a combination of it and the typical romantic infatuation at the age of 20. And I believe it is more than clear that I want you. Therefore I’ve been missing you lately. I miss those moments for which I’d wait hours, when there’s no one around. I miss being able to look into your eyes and feeling embarrassed because I feel you can see how fragile and happy I feel. I miss it all. And I wish all of this didn’t scare you and hope that you know that all these feelings do not influence my decisions and I sincerely wish that they’ll never influence yours in a negative way.
Meanwhile, I’ll keep on hearing the raindrops and missing you, waiting…
“And up until now I had sworn to myself that I was content with loneliness, because none of it was ever worth the risk, but you, are, the only exception.
I’ve got a tight grip on reality but I can’t let go of what's in front of me here I know your leaving in the morning, when you wake up, leave me with some proof it’s not a dream” The Only Exception (Paramore)
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