Farewells Unspoken

Said forever by your side

Said would never say goodbye

See the lies and false promises

It’s lonely, I need you

And you’re not here tonight

Got tired of waiting

For the time you never have

Remember the days I believed

And when I saw things were failing

Farewells unspoken

Made my heart get broken

But now I’m open to something new

That doesn’t include you

Childhood dreams have fled

Now all I got is the present

No hope was left

Couldn’t put my mind to rest

With all the questions I never got to ask

But no answers would change a thing

It’s too late to apologize

And you don’t know that’s what you need to do

Trying to adjust to living without you

Not because I want but ‘cause I have to

All images will remain

All memories of joy will stay

For I won’t try to run away

Don’t think it’s easy, don’t misjudge

When you realize I’ve walked away

I don’t know if you’ll see

It never mattered anyway

27-08-07

What you didn't see coming

You came along unnoticed or maybe I wasn’t paying attention. Can’t remember the first words, maybe they are not the best thing to remember or I don’t give enough value to the first things. I do remember the first time my hearing betrayed me and got me thinking about things I didn’t realize would happen.

I dream of running away and you came along with the camera. If the camera could see through my skin, if it was that easy to see what I'm feeling, what I think, maybe you could explain it to me. I’m not quite sure of what to say, didn’t go through the trouble of thinking things through.

Am I up for what’s at stake? And do you realize the risks I’m taking? I got tired of dealing with feelings and now I have to deal with yours and mine and I don’t gamble with emotions. I wonder if you see, if you can just tell that am as surprised as I’m scared. Will you be up for the challenge?
Maybe, just maybe, it could be right… And I’ll hold on to that thought.



“Do you understand?
‘Cause I understand”

New Year

Fireworks in the sky and the night’s just getting started. Viva la vida and a smile on my face; if I’m not happy now I don’t know what it is to be happy. After a bath of champagne I try to find my way around the people, I’ll wave goodbye to some of you but you’ll be on my mind and it was a pleasure being with you. But something tells me I have to go… Something else awaits me.

I arrive late as I always do, right on time but some things have already happened. I wonder why I came (I know I’ll always ask myself that question) and I guess I just knew I had to be sure of the things I want to and, just today, someone told me to try everything at least once. So I guess this is my leap of faith into the unknown.

Some empty streets and a crowded car, turning left and right would be so hard if we knew where to go or how to get there. I just keep thinking, I wish I could drive somewhere far away, where the rain isn’t likely to pour down on me or where these festivities are not so messy. I should have started the year somewhere where a dozen people wouldn’t step on my feet or fight me as if I were the enemy.

I know I’m not alone, I can feel you next to me. I tell myself I’m not wrong, there’s no such thing as being wrong right now, and I try to leave all those tiny little rules and norms behind. My mind keeps running and I think of all I’ve been told: by you, by me and by all the others and I can’t believe how some were so right. I’d be better off fearing the dark than fearing myself but everyone has to deal with the way they are. And the morning light is coming fast….

I got to see some old clichés come true and now I think of it I really feel like smiling… Life really isn’t how you see in the movies and I don’t mind because I really can’t see what’s coming next in my way and I’m happy with it.

I made no New Year resolutions because I don’t want to know what’s coming next. I saw some hopes crashing down but I’ll give my best smile and carry on; crushed hopes won’t change how I feel. I saw some unexpected things happen but I don’t think I’m careless, I just want to live my life the best I can.

Today I know I can walk the world on my own but I don’t feel like I have to. I’m happy where I am.