Never forget

I will never be able to forget every moment spent with you, every word exchanged. In the back of my mind, there will always be the times I spent endless minutes watching you sleep, unaware of my attention, unaware  of everything.

And I surely know I shouldn’t care so much for you like I do, the care that makes me want to make everything easy for you. Above all I admire you, your strength that will always get you where you want to be. You have no idea what an amazing person you are, all your qualities pass you by but I can see them all. As well as your flaws. The truth is that all of these combined are what makes it so hard not to fall in love with you, it’s just so hard not to look at you with such admiration that makes one want to stare in awe.

If you will ever know all of these things and the scary amount of others that I keep inside and don’t tell? I can’t say. Would I ever have your attention? Would you ever take a close look at what happens just in front of your eyes, take time to read all the subtle signs that are given away, see past the defenses that I have already confessed to have put up? Would you ever be able to differentiate the truth from the half truths that I tell?

But most of all, would you ever want to see?

 

If this was always in the back of my mind, why couldn’t I ever tell?

Commotion

Surreal.
Completely and utterly suffocating.
Shocking despite any previous knowledge.
Overwhelmingly surprising even if disturbingly foreseen.
Sucking out of me any possible rational reaction.
It scares the shit out of me
even though it is one of my current dreams
and what I needed;
safety and turmoil
thunderstorms
soft breezes
A total lack of understanding in a surprisingly calm manner.

This is me when you say I love you.

(And everytime I softly and lovingly say it back to you... even if just in my mind)

Há noites...

Em que aquilo que mais queria era ter-te aqui para te poder dizer o quanto sinto a tua falta após míseras horas. Em que só desejo que este sentimento de que a tua presença nunca é completa desapareça e que a curiosidade morra.

(Se fosse possível mostrar-te tudo o que passa na minha cabeça e não o tivesse de transformar em palavras talvez compreendesses tudo o que te digo e aquilo que faço e parece não ter sentido)

Há noites em que te sinto mais presente do que nunca, em que te escrevo como se contigo falasse, em que por mais que me distraia nunca sais do meu pensamento.

É nessas noites, todas as noites, que me pergunto de onde veio esta forma estranha, como todas as outras, de amar.

Esta é uma dessas noites.